“We like to think of our champions and idols as superheroes who were born different from us. We don’t like to think of them as relatively ordinary people who made themselves extraordinary.”–Carol Dweck
On Tuesday during Freshmen Orientation, MVXC set up an information table and went recruiting–Kyle, Ria, both Vivians, Nitin K, Sean and Ria along with Coach Flatow. Talking to new freshmen about why we think they should join MVXC is a good way to think about what a nice team we are a part of, and what kids can get out of being part of MVXC. As we explain to the recruits why they should join MVXC and what they will learn and experience from being part of MVXC, we have to think about what we have received from being a part of this team.
As we talked to the freshmen, I couldn’t help thinking about how many kids could be walking around Monta Vista and have the potential to get so much from, and give so much to, the cross country team. There is so much athletic potential that could be unlocked, and more importantly so much opportunity for character and friendship development. My day talking to the freshmen had me thinking about what so many MV kids might be missing.
Athletic Potential and Grit
We have had many examples of kids who joined the MV cross country and track teams near the end of their time at Monta Vista, and they turned out to have star potential. Sunny was a junior at MV jogging around the track after school when I asked her, ‘why not join the track team?’ Six months later, Sunny was on the varsity team that won the first Central Coast Section cross country championship in Monta Vista History. Sunny went on to run in college and was all-conference for Mt. Holyoke College. Christina got tired of infighting on her club soccer team and in her senior year, joined the cross country team for the first time; in her only season running cross country, Christina earned a place on our varsity team that went all the way to the California State Championship. Nanda joined the track team her senior year after being on club and MV soccer teams for four years; in her only season of track, Nanda knocked a full second off her 100m time, reaching a mark that would have met the recruiting target for Johns Hopkins University if she had run that time in her junior year (and how useful would that speed have been to Nanda when she was on the soccer pitch?) and she ran the third leg on the 4x100m relay team that won a CCS championship. All these girls wished they had tried cross country and track earlier. How many other kids are at Monta Vista right now with this potential?
While we were recruiting freshmen, a common response was “I’m not a good runner”. I’d ask the kid, “how do you know that?” Often the answer was, “I have no endurance” or something similar. The thing is…endurance can be developed. Running skills can be developed. These kids don’t know that they are not good runners. A person can’t say they are not good at something unless they really try to be good at that thing.
There is a big difference between thinking, “I’m not good at running” and “I’m not good at running yet“.
So part of me looks at the kids walking around the halls of Monta Vista and I wonder, “How many of these boys and girls could be like Sunny or Christina or Nanda, and if they really worked at cross country for a season they could be stars? And they don’t even know it?”
But a deeper part of my worry about these kids is that this will not be the first time that they come up against something hard, and decide “I’m not good at that”. How many people give up on a dream to be an engineer or an architect when they hit a tough spot in math or physics or chemistry and think “I am not good enough” when some more work–hard, gritty work–might get them the skills they need? How many novels never get written because the writer gets some rejection and decides “I’m not good enough”?. How many companies never get started because someone with a great idea looks at the overwhelming list of challenges a start up entrepreneur faces and decides, “I can’t do this”.
I want so much for all our students at Monta Vista to have the confidence and grit to be able t0 look at challenges and setbacks they have in life and think, “I think that with some hard work, I can figure this out”. I think that the cross country team is a great place to figure this out–we talk about overcoming challenges and setbacks, and we talk about being gritty, all the time. We spend as much time filling MVXC athlete’s heads with Angela Duckworth as we do with Ben Rosario and Alberto Salazar.
I looked at all the freshmen, and I think, “which of these kids could be a star and they don’t even know it?” And just as often I think, “how many of these kids thinks they are not runners–but after they months with our team they would be running eight miles non-stop and be talking with their friends the entire way?”
“Family” and Friendship and Character Development
Some other things I don’t think the freshmen can appreciate is how strong a family that the cross country team can be for so many people.
I do think that cross country is different than many other sports. I’m not trying to put down other sports too much, I’m just saying that cross is different. Almost all teams talk about being a family. But in most sports, there are a fixed number of minutes or innings that are played in a game that must be shared, there is only one ball, there are different positions with defined roles. So yes, the team is a family, but that athletes still must compete with each other for positions, playing time, scoring chances, whatever.
Cross country has a different dynamic. Yes there are varsity, junior varsity, frosh-soph teams. But not matter what, we are all running the same course. We can all run the same practices. We don’t have to allocate minutes–if we had 20 or 200 athletes on a team, we can go to an invitational and throw them all out on the same course if we wanted to. I think that allows our athletes to grow to understand that and be incredibly supportive and encouraging towards each other. If your teammate starts improving, that does not mean that you don’t get to run next week. It does not mean you are going to get less time in practice with the best unit. You still have the opportunity to get out on the exact same course as your teammate on the same day and you can keep improving, too.
So often, this support continues outside athletics. Walk into the library and you will often see a table that is all cross country runners of all different classes and genders. If freshmen that are nervous about their first day at Monta Vista could see how the seniors, juniors and sophomores on the cross country team look out for the freshmen and include them, then I think many more kids would join just for the family. They just can’t see the opportunity.
We spend a lot of time taking about some important character strengths and virtues. We spend so much time talking about grit that athletes can quote Angela Duckworth and laugh at coach when he brings her up–again. Persistence and passion towards long term goals is important; and research shows that people that feel like they achieve goals and develop skills are more happy and satisfied in their lives. But we also talk a lot about gratitude, and kindness, and appreciation, and the development of these traits. These are character traits that can make a team, a family, really special.
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
Angela and I were talking about my experiences coaching and I said to her that when I started coaching a decade ago, I had no idea of what I what I would get back from coaching–how much satisfaction I would get, and how strong my paternal instinct was. I wished I’d found this earlier. Angela laughed and said, “It’s OK. You don’t know what you don’t know. Like if you have a tuna fish sandwich for lunch every day; the sandwich is fine, it tastes good, it’s satisfying, you are happy. But you don’t know that a grilled cheese sandwich or maybe avocado and turkey would be great too. Maybe better! Or not. Unless you try. You don’t know what you don’t know, you don’t know what you will feel until you have the experience and give yourself up to the experience.”
That story came back to me as we were out recruiting the freshmen and trying to help them understand what they don’t know about Monta Vista cross country, both the team and the sport. Cross country and distance running is tough–the start is hard, for sure. The first time you go for a long run does not feel good. And when you are surrounded by XC veterans who are running faster than you and making it look easy, and talking and laughing with their teammates, it’s easy for a new runner to think that they can’t do this. However–almost anyone can do this, anyone can become a good runner, maybe a very good runner. Anyone can embrace running and find a lot of satisfaction and health and personal growth in our team and our sport.
I wish we could figure out a way to make it easier for freshmen to see the future path if they chose to join cross country, so they could know what they don’t know–they could know that they could be good runners, and they would gain so much more from the experience than stamina.
I am so proud and happy for the team we have. This is such a wonderful group. We are all fortunate to be a part of this team.
There is a big difference between thinking,
“I can’t do this” and
“I can’t do this yet.”
